Sunday, May 20, 2007


I recently began accepting applications from my friends to star in their own brand new stories about Hitler and WWII, written by me. Here are the first two finalists, and their rousing stories!


(An Oral-History Story-Prose Screenplay In Six Parts)

By Isaac Marion

The first scene starts out with a shot of Rainier Ave, in Seattle WA. It's like, the Ghetto, like Compton in California or something, except it's World War II. The camera zooms in on a house where the main character, Christina, lives. She is gardening or something, when suddenly a black limo pulls up and these government agents get out. They kick down Christina's front door and she's like "Hey, I'm out in the yard, gardening." So they put the door back and come out to the yard and flash FBI badges or something. I don't know if the FBI had happened yet in WWII, but whatever, the FBI is awesome. So they're all like "Christina, Hitler is trying to kill all those other countries with his army! We need you to help us by stopping him!"
So Christina thinks about it for a minute and then she's like "Ok."

The government agents put her in the limo and drive her to a WWII airplane in the government airport and she gets in it and starts flying to Germany.

We cut to one of those shots where you see a map and there's like a line moving across the map to show where she's going, and it turns out it's Germany. As soon as she gets there all these German airplanes appear out of nowhere and start shooting their guns at Christina's plane. But she dodges all of them. Then she puts her plane on auto pilot and jumps out into mid air and kicks all the German planes so they explode. Then all the tanks and army troops come out but the airplanes fall on them and they both all explode. This scene is incredible.

So the whole German army is dead but suddenly when you least expect it you hear this deep voice from out of nowhere that's like, "Christina!!!!" And the camera pans over and you see that it's Hitler, flying in mid-air in a sweet jetpack. He's like "I will kill you!" or something, and he flies right at Christina. But at the last second Christina dodges him and he flies into a haycart and explodes.

So Hitler is dead and suddenly WWII is over and everyone knows that the world is safe, so everyone comes out of their cities and does this big parade to celebrate. The president of America calls Christina on her cell phone while she's flying back home and he's like "Thanks, you saved the whole world."

Christina is like, "Don't mention it" and then the president is like "I want you to have something," and it turns out that it's America! He gives America to her for a reward for saving everybody, so Christina becomes the new president and the first woman president at the same time, so then there's like, another parade.

The End


(An Oral-History Story-Prose Screenplay In Six Parts)

By Isaac Marion

The first scene starts out in the past. It's a prologue or something. You see some shots of times in the past, like the 18 hundreds or something, with horses and buggies and stuff, and then it flashes back to the present, where the main character, Emily, lives. It's the present, sortof, except it's World War II. So Emily is this like alternative chick and she has a lip ring, so when the president is watching her with the government spy cameras he's kind of not sure she's the right candidate, but he realizes she is awesome so he sends his bodyguards anyway to pick her up at her apartment in Bellingham, WA. (At that period in history Bellingham was mostly swamp. So they pick her up out of a swamp.)

They try to clean her off a little bit and then they fly her to Washington D.C. The president meets her at the baggage claim with a sign that says "Emily?" so Emily is like "Hi, are you the president?" and he says yes. Some violin music or something starts going on the soundtrack so you can tell there's like a romantic interest or something, and there's some close-up shots of Emily's eyes and the president's eyes. (The president during WWII was only 25, and pretty good looking, so it's not weird.)

The president tells her about how Hitler is taking over the Jews and killing all these European countries, and how he's probably going to start attacking America pretty soon, so he needs to be killed, PRONTO. Emily doesn't even blink she's just like "Give me a jet with machine guns"�but those haven't been invented yet. So the president is like "those haven't been invented yet" but he gives her the next best thing, a tank that's painted bright red like a fire truck. So she gets in the tank and drives it to Germany, and doesn't even think twice she just starts shooting everything, and she never misses. Plus tank bullets are like, bombs sortof too, so they explode and there are lots of good explosions going all over the place. Oh and the music here is really dramatic, with a lot of violins and trumpets and stuff.

So the whole German army is surrounding Emily's tank and shooting at her, but they keep missing and they are getting blown up all over the place. Then all of a sudden Emily gets this tough look on her face and she puts a brick on the gun-shooting pedal so that the tank just keeps shooting, and she jumps out onto the top of the tank and pulls out two normal guns, and starts shooting both of them, so the tank is shooting AND Emily is shooting both her guns, so people are getting killed everywhere, and in a few minutes the whole German army is pretty much dead, except for a few army guys who are still alive, but she kills them.

So now the whole German army is dead, and from out of nowhere you hear this big evil voice saying something, and the camera moves over and you see Hitler coming up out of the ground in this huge Japanimation robot suit. He's like, "I will kill you!" or something, and starts shooting all these crazy lazers and lightning balls at Emily's tank. Emily jumps off the tank just before it explodes, and flies through the air for a while and then lands on the ground. She looks up at the robot suit and says some kind of tough line, like "No, you will kill YOURSELF, by letting me kill you, because I am going to now!" And then she does.

So Hitler is dead, and so all the buildings and stuff in Germany dissolve in this puff of smoke because Hitler's power is broken. Then everyone realizes that the world has been saved and has a huge party where most of them get really drunk. The president of America sends a limozine that flies to pick up Emily and take her back to America, and since it's a flying limozine it doesn't have any wheels, just big airplane wings and propellers, so it's faster. She gets home really fast, and the president meets her at the baggage claim holding a sign that says, "Will you marry me?" Emily can't believe her eyes. She says no and they don't get married, but they make out in the gift shop for like half an hour.

The End

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